I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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