why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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