Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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