i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
