Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
