the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
