covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
