It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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