Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
