Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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