my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
