There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
