How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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