fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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