I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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