yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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