I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
