you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
false alarm. still invincible.
vagina is talking i cant
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
