Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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