Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
