I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
