A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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