I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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