can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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