I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We had sex on a dog bed..
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
