He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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