Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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