My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
