Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
