so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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