I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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