is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
