U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So many bounce houses so little time
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You may now shotgun with the bride
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Randomize
