Someone shit on the floor
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
