So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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