Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
