My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
