chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
