that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
