My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
