I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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