we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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