there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
