Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
