Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm passing your future prison.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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