dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
