I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
