that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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