I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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