I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
