So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
