Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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