Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
